With a beginning like that you can just imagine the whirlwind that ensued once we recognized our relationship had grown beyond friendship.
And what a whirlwind it was . . .
Allison had bought a 3 bedroom house a few years earlier and had been looking for a roommate. Elvin needed a new place to stay, so we made the impulsive decision to move in together DAY ONE of dating.
Which was also day one of Elvin’s job search.
So here we were . . . two coworkers turned roommates and in theory it was exciting and fun! But in reality, things were getting a little messy.
Mainly because Allison’s parents were upset (they didn’t think two people should live together before marriage) and also because no one at work knew what was going on and lastly because we were two best friends now dating and we didn’t know exactly where everything was headed.
We both wanted this relationship to last, but we were still the same people who had failed in previous relationships.
How could we be certain this would be different?
Within six months of moving in together we acknowledged that our old habits were dying hard (or not really dying at all) and if we wanted a different outcome then we needed to try a different approach.
We decided to see a life coach.
We saw the same life coach for a few months, but at separate times because she didn’t work with couples together.
Although the individual time was critical to our personal growth, the coaching sessions didn’t teach us how to incorporate what we were learning into our marriage.
It didn’t teach us how to handle daily arguments and struggles.
Individual coaching didn’t teach us how to grow and work towards personal goals while making those goals work for our marriage.
We taught ourselves how to do it.
We took what we learned from our life coach and expanded on it so we could handle
the shitstorm that just kept coming . . .